This is turning into my dumping ground of emotions, an outlet for all the shit we're going through.  That I'm going through.  I can't even tell what's going on with John these days.  He is so out of it.  I'm scared for him, and -- I almost can't say it-- I'm scared of him.  I'm scared of myself too.  There are waves of sickness I'm getting that the doctors can't seem to pinpoint the cause of beyond stress, so what the fuck amd I supposed to do?  I just get more stressed out thinking about it.  And then I think I"m crazy because I see these images in my dreams that are like almost real life, but something is off about them and I don't like what they're telling me about us, about our family.  

What am I doing?  If anyone still looks at this blog please help.  What do I do?  I'm disabling comments so they won't go public but I will be able to see them.  Thanks for letting me vent.  I don't think you ahve to be worried for our health at this point but is good to know people are watching us to see if we ever come out of our house.

I feel like I want to record for the world was is happening... but I don't even understand fully what that is.  So how can I record it?  Maybe writing it out makes me feel like I can understand it, or process it more.  Maybe writing it out will make it seem not so crazy.  I feel kind of stupid.  I know no one is reading this, but I think it helps me cope.

September 1st and Fall is almost here and that means that John's favorite holiday is coming up soon.  I think he's already getting into the mood because I see some strange projects going on in the basement.  This time of year always gets his creativity up and running.  With all that's been going on, doctor's appointments and our illness it's already a little scary these days, but trying to take things in good stride.  My skin is breaking out like crazy with the change in weather and the stress.  

I hope I can enjoy this season and be supportive of John.  It's been a difficult process of getting adjusted to married life when as soon as we get home we come down with these horrible illnesses.  And John seems to be sleepwalking more and more and it's getting a little dangerous for our pets : /  We found some of the goldfish in our pond missing and I found one in John's sock drawer when I was folding laundry.  he never puts his socks away, so there's always a stack of them, and I must have screamed out loud when i saw the fish because he came running.  He didn't remember putting it there-- who forgets putting a dead fish in with your undergarments?!!  But I understand it's a problem he's had on and off since a kid and it's just gotten so much worse since coming back from Scandinavia.

Maybe we'll be sharks for halloween. :)  See I can turns things right side up and we can make this family happy yet (John says it's just us, just a couple, but I say after marriage it's the beginning of a family even without a little one on the way yet).

OK, over and out.  Gotta go shoot something for Adler & Finkle for the new condos going up at Broad & Spring Garden (I'm praying they don't send me to shoot the new casino, I think I'd have to turn them down in protest, but I'll still take their money for the other things...)

-Frieda

Our last days in Copenhagen were very interesting, but John's caught something that's had him basically sleeping in the bathroom by the toilet.  Poor John. :(  Well, I'm doing one more outing to the international photography museum here, and then we are leaving tomorrow morning.

these are pictures from an old island fort we visited on a boatride tour of Copenhagen.  It was very cool but very creepy.  We were not going to get off there but it started raining and there was absolutely no cover on the boat.  They gave out these makeshift ponchos but we were getting soaked, so we asked to get off even though no one else seemed to want to get off.  There seemed to be not a soul in there.  We waited and waited but didn't see anyone, then we finally saw someone on the other side of the small island walk into a little red building.  Turns out it was the cutest little cafe you've ever seen with food, espresso, and of course wine!  So we warmed up from the rain.  And finally the boat came back for us.

-Frieda

Couldn't help it.  These are some funny shots of Frieda and me (well, mostly Frieda because she's prettier than I am) at a funny little sidewalk cafe we stumbled onto on a small island.  There were very few people but lots of sheep and lots of sheep s#*@!  Luckily Frieda found a lovely little Porto-John to go in... (I can't seem to get the bottom photo to turn upright but had to include the "before" and "After" shots after she looked in and smelled it!).

Hello Mom & Dad and Dad & Mom and everyone!  We are OK and having a blast.  Sorry we've had no time to get our pics onto a computer and to download and to post things.  We're running between museums now (going to see an ancient pirate-looking boat from the 17th century that is fully preserved in Stockholm).  We saw mini-skansen park this morning, which is a miniature version of Sweden and has all these re-creations of villages and animals.  I loved it but John thought it was kind of cruel.  I think if animals are going to be treated well anywhere it's going to be here in Sweden.  This country is amazing.  Do you know they have this fundamental right to wander around the land and pick wildflowers?  It's like an ancient law here, and these are some picks from a visit to a beautiful little island where we did just that.  Love it: America has the 2nd Amendment, Sweden's got the right to flower power.  But i guess their government has been historically nicer :).

OK john is going to kill me if I don't hop in the shower, since he was sneezing all morning from the animals and I promised I'd wash it off.  So, off I go and hopefully I'll get him to post the next batch of photos and say hello, but you know how he is with computers and technology and he'd rather just send you all postcards (have you gotten any?!).

love, Frieda

Peace and blessings to our family and friends!  John and I are so excited to be leaving America soon as Mr. and Mrs. Golden (yes I took his name, but yes I'm still a feminist and he doesn't own me :) !

We wanted to set something up quickly to share some thoughts and greetings along the way through our Scandinavian cruise!  We're excited to be meeting up with our friends Jesper and Eleanor in Stockholm, who are acting as gracious hosts for the first couple nights abroad.  Then we board "The Skansen Adventurer" to Copenhagen and some smaller towns along the way.

I was hoping we would be able to upload some wedding photos here, but our photographer hasn't given us the raw files yet, and so unless some friends post some pictures here (please please please!) we won't be able to share anything until we're back in mid-August.

We love you all and we'll be posting more real soon.

-Frieda